Collaborative Practice - the decent way to divorce

In collaborative practice, the issues arising from a relationship break-down are handled out of court in a way that’s calm and dignified. It enables both parties to remain on friendly terms, as the process helps them through a series of conversations to work out what matters to them both.

That’s a key element in what makes collaborative law different: the measure of success is what matters to the family involved. It’s the only legal process to look at separations in this way, whereas the traditional system leads with what the law says success should look like.

When you go to court to decide the terms of a separation, the Family Law Act is applied measuring your case against all other similar cases, and the court decides that a particular outcome will be good for you.

In some cases, for example ones where the parties are intent on destroying each other, this can be a good thing. But in a situation where a family is looking for a mutually agreed outcome, and an ongoing relationship, collaborative law is the way to go.

The collaborative process doesn’t ignore the law but asks, ‘what do you want for your life?’, aiming for an amicable resolution.

We discussed the ins-and-outs of the collaborative law process recently on our podcast, Legal-Ease Australia, where our guest was my mentor in this area, Clarissa Rayward. You can listen to the episode here. https://bit.ly/collab-practice

The collaborative nature is what Clarissa calls, ‘one of its superpowers’. This loops in other professionals to contribute their knowledge – finance professionals can help with dividing finances, experts on child welfare, social workers, and psychologists excel in understanding family dynamics and can have input to the collaborative legal process to achieve the best outcome for all members of the family.

The process starts with a meeting between the legal professionals to go through materials and financial disclosure.

 

Next, the first meeting with both parties, making sure there’s tea and coffee and everyone’s relaxed. The process is discussed and an agreement is signed, locking in the understanding of the collaborative process. If this agreement can’t be reached, the case will be handled the old-fashioned way, in court.

Several more meetings might occur, guiding the parties towards what they want to achieve, rather than lawyers saying, ‘you must do this or that’. When an outcome is reached, it’s put into orders, terms of settlement, or a binding financial agreement. Hopefully a mutually beneficial outcome is agreed-upon and each party leaves on amicable terms. 

Unfortunately, collaborative law doesn’t get much publicity, which means a lot of people don’t know it’s an option. Two people calmly, peacefully, and confidently unravelling their affairs doesn’t make good headlines.

The general understanding is that family law can get nasty – people want revenge, to destroy each other’s lives, and fight over custody. Meanwhile, studies continually show how much this conflict damages children, let alone adults.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

It was through disillusion with the system that I decided to explore collaborative law and it’s really opened my eyes. Collaborative practice is an evolution and a revolution. It can be very positive for clients and has many more benefits than standard litigation.

Listen to the full podcast episode with John Melia and Clarissa Rayward on Whooshkaa, Spotufy or Apple Podcasts.